Love can not be forced.
I used to try to force my kitten to love me by holding her down when she wanted to get away. I wanted her to love me more like a dog would so I tried to force her to cuddle with me. Now she is a feisty, bitter cat that swats at innocent children walking by. How many times have I wished that someone in my life would love me more or differently only to find it go awry? I wish my husband was more romantic, my parents spent more time with me, my children were more affectionate, my friends more loyal. There hasn’t been a single person in my life that I am close to that hasn’t disappointed me at one time or another. Ouch. And then sometimes I try to change them so they will love me more, which usually pushes them away. I wonder if I am alone in this, a strangely overly needy person, or if others share in this propensity for forcing love?
Grace.
Now I find myself wanting every Little Lamb family to love school so much that they do everything I hope they will. We are a cooperative and everyone has done a great job of working together. But when some things fell through the cracks and didn’t happen, or didn’t get done on time, I wondered what we were supposed to do. If Little Lambs belongs to Jesus, will it work if we really just put it all in His hands and not take matters into our own hands? Is His conviction more poignant than man’s? OR…….do we write “I will remember to……” on the chalkboard 100x? Charge late fees? Assign makeup work? The more my mind went down this ridiculous road, the more reasons I found to be disappointed, and thus more need for “punishment”. Envisioned penalties were stacking up like pancakes. I realized I was in a negative downward spiral that only caused me to have unhappy feelings towards others. This must not be God’s way for our school. Plus, petty penalties seem so much like the pattern of this world. Do petty penalties ever really change someone’s heart to want to do right? Its how businesses and other schools are run, but this is Jesus’ school. What would Jesus do? What did He do with his own disciples? I know He never fired anyone, not even Judas. I know his teachings of grace, patience, and forgiveness were superior to the law. The Old testament law only shows us how wrong we are so that we are acutely aware of our need for grace, and New Testament grace given through Jesus Christ actually changes hearts to want to do right. Love naturally flows out of hearts that want to do right, and hearts that want to do right are because of grace. The methods used by most schools or businesses will keep some order through their law like discipline, but never change hearts. Hence, rarely do people LOVE going to work. When grace does not dominate, love is weak. After wrestling with these thoughts, I knew that my highest dream for Little Lambs is for grace to abound so that our hearts are changed rather than merely disciplined.
Choice.
I am so pleased with all the hard work families put into Little Lambs and it shows our love. My desire for Little Lambs is that we all serve in excellence because we LOVE what we are doing here like crazy. If we do our duties here out of necessity or obligation, I think we suck the love of God out of the atmosphere. Is it even possible to love out of obligation? I don’t think obligation and love co-exist together well. For example, even God gives us all free will to love Him or not because being loved by people who are forced to love Him, would not be real love at all. Giving people choice allows Him to be truly loved by those who choose to. We who are called to do this homeschooling journey together are tied together by a true bond: love that is chosen. My dream for Little Lambs is that nothing would be done out of compulsion, and all things, incredible things would happen because of the strength of our love. Love is an unstoppable force.